AvatarRIFIC

                What’s up y’all? A while back, one of our good friends Pete Hewitt (Hi, Pete) asked for Nuss and I to do a Review of an unknown, underground flick called Avatar. After searching high and low to find a theatre that was screening this prequel to the Blue Man Group, I was finally able to find a theatre to screen this film (You’ll have to ask James how he came across it, but I am sure he had to pirate it). In honor of this movie’s  upcoming DVD release we have decided to give our reviews on Avatar.

                All jokes aside from the paragraph above, it is hard not to say you loved a movie that was far and away the highest grossing film of all time. If you have yet to see this movie, you are depriving your eyes of seeing something phenomenal. In the words of one of my good friends, this movie arouses your eyes (ok, so what he said was a little more graphic. Follow this guy on twitter to find out what the saying really is. I’m sure he will be happy to tell you).

Avatar is a ground breaking film that visually captures it audience and then some. The scene where Sully first gets in the Avatar body (that’s what she said) is when my jaw dropped. I would like to note that I  say my jaw dropped because I saw it in IMAX 3D (If you chose to see this movie on a regular movie screen, be sure to pick Avatar up on VHS tomorrow and not Blu-Ray). I actually got a little buzz seeing Sully in this scene, I felt like I was him. Like I hadn’t been able to walk in years, and suddenly I could outrun Usain Bolt and put Lebron James on a poster. If there is ever a way to get a high from watching a movie, then this movie comes close.

It is really hard for me to actually talk about the plot of the movie because:

A.)   I saw it months ago

B.)    I blacked out from having my eyes penetrated by flying bird thingies, plants, and other weird creatures

But, I will do my best to provide you with a little insight to what my thoughts are.

The Avatar is a superior species to the human race. Needless to say, they would dominate the Purple Parrots in a head-to-head Legends of the Hidden Temple (What now, Omec?). While on the subject of the Avatars one must wonder WHY James Cameron chose to spend 500 Million dollars to make this movie. I mean, I get it, but doesn’t he know there was a way to cut cost efficiently in these troubling times in our economy.  He could have looked to real life people to cast as the role of Avatars by plugging NBA players into those roles. Some names that pop into my head are:

1.)    Demar Derozan: Rookie for the Toronto Raptors

2.)    Chris Bosh: All-Star in our hearts and for the Raptors

3.)    Marquis Daniels: Former Pacer (Traded away most likely based on race)

If that is not enough, heck, even a little make-up could have done the trick on people who don’t have the natural Avatar beauty. Take a look at this website to see what just a little computer editing can do to some of your favorite Hollywood stars….

Everyone’s little gripe about this movie (I guess you have to point out a negative in everything) is that the storyline is predictable and it has already been done (via Pocahontas, Ferngully, Dances with Wolves, Teen Wolf Too, etc.). My argument is what hasn’t been done? That’s like saying you don’t like the iPad because we already have laptops. Or what would the world be like today if we said ha, why would I want to carry a phone around in my pocket all the time when I have one at the house? It’s True, Martin Lawrence getting fired from being a Pro coach and being forced to coach a middle school team in the movie Rebound was a new storyline, but that doesn’t mean it was better than Avatar (it’s a close call, you be the judge). The fact of the matter is anymore, from a storyline standpoint, it’s been done. So Cameron went outside the plot to create something new and he achieved that (Look at his track record and it’s safe to say the man knows what he is doing). He took something that has already been done and made it better.

My one minor gripe with this movie is the awkward sex scene between two Avatars. I found myself asking questions in my head that I didn’t want answers too… I hope on the DVD release that there will not be an unrated sex scene because I fear my questions will be answered (I can see my nightmares already).

Another future gripe could be will Avatar be as good in the privacy of our own homes? A lot of the excitement of this movie came from seeing the film in IMAX 3D. People were yelling OHHHHH DAMN during the ‘in your face’ battle scenes (This literally happened during my viewing of the film). I just worry I will be a little let down when I watch it the second time because I fell in love with the visual effects more so than the storyline (like most people).

In closing, I enjoyed myself. I almost got high off the visuals of watching a movie that wasn’t Cheech and Chong or Half Baked.  I am excited to see what Cameron has to offer me next.

4.5/5 Claws

We hope you enjoyed our reviews. And always remember, if you didn’t enjoy it, unlike Ben Roethlesberger’s victims, your voice matters to us (It’s called consent Benny). So hit us with some feedback @ clawandnussreviews@gmail.com and we will be sure not to ‘hit’ you back a la Chris Brown. Follow us on twitter @CLAWtomicBAUM and as always tell your friends about us.

And I’m out,

-#0 The Claw